rodion | the battle of the feels

Mm, I did design it, yes.

( Optimus' had been the last and his best - Shockwave needed this one to count. If the others failed to allow for bonding with the Matrix, well, that was too bad, but Shockwave wouldn't spend sleepless nights prevented from falling into recharge with thoughts of it. But this one? Optimus'? No, this one needed to work. And he was saddened by the fact he never could appreciate it it properly when it had.

His fingers slip in, tracing the lines and the edges of the modification that made carrying the matrix possible - all rough edges when compared to the smooth metal Shockwave knows he installed. Age will do that to a mech, however, and if anything it simply makes him more attractive. But he pauses when his fingers hit the far wall - the simple plating that keeps the Matrix chamber separated from the spark. )

And this?

( A gentle tap, indicating that it's a question about what lies behind it. Oh, Shockwave already knows what his answer will be thanks to the confessions earlier, but it's one thing to say it and another thing to know it. )

[When Shockwave's fingers slip in, feeling them gloss over the smooth metal, his eyes remain ever fixed on them, noticing just how worn he was, compared to the well protected, pristine interior that Shockwave had added on. It only showed as a symbol of what the war did. He tried to read Shockwave's opinion on it, seeing the gentle way he runs those fingers along the scratches and onto the smoother surface.

But then, he feels those same fingers against the back of it. He knew just what Shockwave was asking about--it was obvious.

His head tilts, to meet those eyes. There's no words needed as the plating shifts there, disappearing before Shockwave's very fingers, now illuminated by a bright, warm glow. Green in colour.]

Yours.

[His hand reaches up, taking the other's by the wrist and holding it there as his eyes close.]

Only yours.

( The trust implicit in the gesture Optimus is making is astounding, and Shockwave can't help but feel honored and flattered by it - fingers bathed in the green light of his spark. He's seen it once before, of course, but it registered as a mild curiosity. Perhaps the modification had taken to Optimus better partly in thanks to the fact that he was a point one percenter, but Shockwave had long wondered if that specific designation meant as much as everyone assumed it did. He'd seen it come in so many variations, after all, including his own.

It isn't a particular blow to his ego that Megatron never considered him to be qualified to become a phase sixer, even now with the ability to feel. While revulsion comes with even the thought, a distant part of him reminds himself that it would have been illogical to turn a scientist into a warrior. Megatron had had his needs, and Shockwave had provided because an objection would not have been logical.

There was a time and a place for this train of thought, however, and it wasn't here - with Optimus' spark so close to his fingers. Instead Shockwave lets out a shuttering exvent and reaches forward to brush his fingertips against the escaping tendrils of energy. )

My brightest hope. Optimus Prime.

[It's everything he can give to Shockwave. Out of any part of a Cybertronian, the spark was the most important--the most cherished. It's your soul and your lifeline combined, and to show someone that is considered to be the utmost in trust.

Shockwave had earned that long ago. Now, it lay before him, open and free of guilt. He'd saved Shockwave, and was trusting the other bot with his life now. Without fear, he watches as Shockwave's fingers loop through the tendrils of energy, closing his eyes as he feels it to the core of his being.

Even just the emanating energy had such an affect on him, enough for that engine to purr slightly.]

And you were mine.

[His head leans forward, touching against the others' again.]

I hoped I'd see you again. You were what kept me fighting.

[His hand gestures up, towards his spark.]

This spark is still glowing because of you. And for that...I hope you accept it.

( Shockwave offlines his optics the moment Optimus' helm brushes his, shuddering slightly before pressing the advantage and kissing Optimus again. Now that he can, he can't find it within himself to stop. After everything - the Shadowplay, the four million years of not being himself, of nearly destroying the universe and finding himself again - he's going to let himself have this one thing. )

Yes. ( Of course he accepts it, what else can he do? And as his fingers dip further into the spark he feels the tingle of energy run through his plating and lines, leaving a sharp taste in his mouth and on his tongue that he can only describe as being uniquely Optimus. ) Thank you, Optimus, for never giving up.

( For always remembering who he was.

His own plating peels away, folding back to reveal his own spark chamber. An exchange, if you will, as if there was another option. He remembers - distantly - the time where he'd been removed from his own body and there's a moment where he wants to stop, air stilling in his vents. No. That's not him, and Optimus would not.

Another shuttering intake and venting, before his frame relaxes more and he onlines his optics once more. )

It was yours, has always been, even though you never knew.

[And it's something Optimus is glad for. Just to have something Shockwave can call his. That no one else could have as long as Energon flowed through him. The kiss is reciprocated, tenderly, as he lets the Senator touch what he's never shown anyone aside from a medic.

Hearing the confirmation, that Shockwave accepts him, is more than enough for him. He would have accepted that, feeling part of his soul almost enter Shockwave, somewhat feeling the energy flow into his fingers.

He'd waited so long to offer himself like this to Shockwave, perhaps longer without even knowing it.

He's about to say something, before a lovely green light appears to match his own--Shockwave's own chest plating opening up revealing...in Optimus's opinion... the brightest spark he'd ever seen.

Not that he'd seen many. His eyes widen, gently taking in its light as a hand reaches out, hearing Shockwave's words. This was his. Although not as delicate as the Senator's, his hand stretches closer, feeling the tendrils of energy play along his rugged hand, the energy itself new and exciting.

Just like Shockwave himself.]

Beautiful.

[Always a bot of few words. But whatever he said...he meant it.]

( There's a low rumble of laughter at Optimus's word - he can feel it vibrate through his frame, coupling with the warmth that being this close to the other bot brings. It's an altogether pleasant experience that Shockwave delights in, least of all because he can feel it again. A few months of emotions is nothing compared to millions of years without them and every rush of anger, happiness, sorrow, and love is welcomed. This is who he is, not what he was.

Not-so gentle brush of fingers across the flickering energy aside, Shockwave can't help but vent his systems in a slow sigh of air. It's too real, to sharply formed in his mind in shapes and colors and feelings that he can't doubt his system's own feedback and yet-- and yet--

How long has he wanted this? Even without the unfortunate break it's still longer than he cares to think about. )

I did say that was one of my goals, did I not?

( To be remembered for his beauty and his brains. And perhaps there was still a chance for that when all was said and done, no matter what he'd done in the past. This was a chance, a new chance for something mostly unsullied by his actions. )

But you, Optimus-- ( He smiles again - more sure in his actions as he caresses the surface of Optimus's spark gently. Coaxing it further out of its casing, because there is only one way he wants this to end. ) I cannot hope to match you.

[And Optimus feels every emotion. Shockwave was always so strong in his emotions, and as his fingers gently intertwined with the tendrils of energy, he could feel them. Feel everything it was that made Shockwave Shockwave, and not the one the Institute tried to snuff out.

There's a delighted hum of his engine at Shockwave's answer. Beauty and brains...Shockwave certainly excelled at both, and what a dangerous combo to have. It was enough to capture the Prime's very spark whole, and willingly.

This was a new start for both of them, but in a way, it was picking up where they left off.

Optimus wasn't going to leave things to chance anymore.]

Even a king is in awe of the sun, Shockwave.

[He knows just how cocky that sounds. But it was true. To him, Shockwave was his star. His light.

That spark is coaxed out a little more, without hesitation. He did say he was Shockwave's after all, and that wasn't more apparent than right now.]

the battle of the feels

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