the battle of the feels

[tomemyoutliers]

BRING IT ON, RC

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[tomemyoutliers]

( Earth.

He remembers being here before, trapped and then leashed to Skywatch and then once again, however briefly. It would be poetic to say that it felt like another life - and that much was true, if other lives sat heavy on shoulders and invaded his thoughts when he left himself unguarded.

That was then, and this is now. Orion - Optimus (and he can't deny the satisfaction that rises in him at that - his brightest hope took the name he gave and led their race through the war out to the other side, broken and scattered but still there.) rarely leaves him by himself these days, although since their arrival on Earth he's found his attention required elsewhere.

Not tonight, however. Tonight was explicitly their night, by order of their Prime. Prowl had muttered as he left with his combiner entourage (and Shockwave knows about the science behind them and cannot help but feel as if something dark is looming in the near future) but the rest of the Autobots had agreed.

Which left Shockwave sitting a fair distance away from the Ark, on the edge of a cliff he dimly remembers being called the 'Grand Canyon'. Not that he minds - it's beautiful. But at the moment he's far more interested in looking at his hands than the stars, flexing them as he still gets used to the sensation of having two again. )

[luckyfaceplate]

[Ever since Shockwave had decided to accompany them on this mission, Optimus had been a mixture of feelings. Happiness was one, for sure. The war had taken so much from them, friends and foes alike. Everything always seemed so black and white at the time. The only possible way of saving someone usually meant at the end of a weapon. But somehow, and by some miracle, Shockwave had been the exception. He'd conquered his own prison, and granted a new life. One where he and Optimus could pick up where they left off. In a way...it was warming to his spark.

But with that came apprehension. Four million years accumulated so much tension, so much paranoia, that he couldn't leave the bot alone for an extended period of time. Call it protectiveness if you wish. Either way, he'd insisted that they have some time to talk, to spend time with each other. Against Prowl's obvious disapproval, he left their camp to go meet up with him. Admittedly, he wasn't sure what he'd say--they hadn't had much of a chance to talk with all that's happened. All he knew was that it was long needed, and even longer wanted.

It's not hard to find him, perched on the edge of the canyon. Even then, it's like his spark jumps, feeling the Energon coursing through his proverbial veins. He never was good with these one-on-one talks, not personal ones that is.

He approaches slowly, not necessarily anxious about coming closer, but rather he doesn't want to disturb Shockwave's first look out at their newest location. He's not exactly the most graceful, and he can't do it without a slipping rock, but he takes a seat next to him. Head tilted up to match the once-Senator's.]

Do you remember the skies here?

[Might as well start off simple.]

[tomemyoutliers]

( A soft smile tugs at his lips when he feels Optimus sit next to him, not bothering to look over at him at the moment. Shockwave is still trying to connect the Orion from the past with the Optimus of now - he's witnessed the progression from the distant perspective of logic and planning, now it's time to connect the two with emotion.

Shockwave doesn't need to look at Optimus to know four million years weighs heavily on him. The differences are stark - leadership and war will do that, he knows - but the parts of Orion he found to be most important are still there. A sense of right and wrong, strong moral conviction, and a good spark. It only confirms what Shockwave though all those years ago: that Orion Pax would be an excellent Prime. )

Not very well, I'm afraid. ( He tears his gaze from the sky to smile at Optimus, warm and open. It's strange to do that again, to have a mouth to smile with - perhaps he'll have to do it more often to make up for the millions of years of disuses. ) There wasn't much of an opportunity to stargaze.

( Running Skywatch's errands with a bomb implanted in his head did limit his leisure time. )

[luckyfaceplate]

[The war did weigh heavy on the Prime, that was for sure. All the lost lives, all the ways things could have been resolved. Every wrong move, every time they got too caught up in trying to defeat one another...Cybertron suffered, Cybertronians suffered, and in the end, when the smoke cleared and the dust settled...

There was no celebration.

But like anything, Cybertron could be saved. And that was something he couldn't take part in. He was responsible for the ruination of the planet--everything else was left up to the others. But there was hope for him too. Shockwave was living proof of that.

It brings the glisten back to his eyes, finding peace in the bot's company as well as the sky.]

Human cities make it difficult to see the stars like this, much how Cybertron was from the lower levels. But out here, they're as numerous as I remember.

[tomemyoutliers]

( The longer he feels Optimus next to him, the more relaxed he becomes. A calmness so unlike the storm of emotions he feels barely under his plating. But why would he deny everything he feels after so long without them? If he embraced his emotions before it's nothing like he does now, feeling every change keenly. Shockwave will never go bad to that, not while it's in his power to prevent it.

And if he succumbs to it forever? Well, Optimus surely knows his final wish. There's no other hand he'd rather die by than that of Optimus Prime. )

Mm. ( He's quiet for a moment, making his own calculations before gesturing to a particular star in the night sky. ) It seems so inconsequential from far away.

( Their sun, their planet, everything. )

[luckyfaceplate]

[It surprisingly has the same effect on him. Shockwave had been one of the many (although one of the most prominent) sources of his guilt. But in the end, Shockwave had been saved. He'd been able to bring back a great bot who'd touched many lives. Ratchet, the outliers, and mostly himself. If the Cybertronians were stars themselves, Shockwave would have been one of the brightest.

Of course, he knows what has to happen should luck turn against them. But it's not something he wants to think about right now. Right now it's just them and the stars.

The Prime's gaze follows that hand up, scanning across the star-littered sky above them, those little ear pieces twitching ever so slightly.]

I felt the same thing on my first experience here. When you're that far away from home, you often wonder how much of an impact you make on the universe.

[tomemyoutliers]

Well I think we can both guess at what mine was to be. ( On account of the whole 'destroying the universe to make Cybertron undying' thing. ) But even that was not too far afield for what I wanted - the best for our planet. I'm just sorry it became what it did.

( All of his actions were for the benefit of others, for Cybertron. That is something Shockwave cannot, and will not deny. If starting again is something he wants to do then he can't pretend the past four million years didn't happen. He may not have been himself, but he was still Shockwave.

He would wear the name proudly, as he'd always done, and deal with the consequences of doing so.

One of his hands goes to rest on top of Optimus's. Bold, yes, but Shockwave has always cared little about personal space or what others may think of his actions. )

[luckyfaceplate]

It was not your true intention to go that far, Shockwave. Had you been in a better state of mind, you would have had limits. Your devotion to the planet was something admirable, and your compassion was even more.

[He knows Shockwave inside and out--and that his emotions would have played a much larger role had they been there. It was what separated him from the other Senators, back in the day. It's what the outliers looked up to. It's what made Orion have trust.

And if Shockwave wanted to wear his name with pride, then it would have to be by his side.

Those eyes widen, casting themselves down at the hand now resting on his. It's amazing, how well it fits on top, how...nice it looks. As if it's always belonged there. His fingers spread out slightly, allowing the Senator's own to sink into the spaces between, interlacing them. And holding onto the fingers underneath.

Subtle--he's trying.]

During my stay I learned a lot about human culture. The stars...they're a source of mythology for them.

[tomemyoutliers]

( There's nothing even Shockwave can find to say to that, except smile at the other - letting the warmth flow through him at Optimus's words. Oh he knows his goals and limits, had always been mindful of them, yet there's nothing quite like looking back on the horrors he's done to make him question it. Except the hand that wrecked destruction and horror over the past four million years is not the hand that Optimus is holding onto now, and Shockwave clings to that.

Hope, and Optimus is the brightest beacon of it he has ever known.

Gently squeezing the hand in his, Shockwave turns his attention back to the stars above them. )

Are they? ( His tone is encouraging and warm. ) I suppose there is no better way to immortalize someone than to put them for everyone to see.

[tomemyoutliers]

( As much as Shockwave could understand the wisdom in leaving him behind with the ark while the rest of the team went to deal with problems - Prowl arguing about how they couldn't trust him and Kup's questioning about his combat experience and how much of that was still valid. All of it was the answer, and he'd emphatically explained his opinion on the matter in a less than calm voice that had done more harm than good.

So he'd been left behind with Jetfire who'd spent the day in the part of the ark furtherest away from wherever he was at any given point in time. And he's certain there's a saying about idle minds and Mortilus's workshop. So he's busied himself with their comms and getting to pick up the radio waves the humans seemed to use as a secondary form of communication.

It's with a sense of satisfaction that he managed to latch onto the signals from the satellites they put into orbit around their planet, music flooding the empty bay. If it bothered Jetfire he wouldn't know - the other Cybertronian hadn't made an appearance. So instead he just allows himself to be lost in the strange yet terribly familiar sounds - music is music no matter where planet it originates from, after all - and goes to work fixing anything else he can get his hands on. Shockwave is a brilliant scientist but, well, his other accomplishments hang over his head.

Engrossed in his work as he is, he doesn't notice that someone's in the same space as him until he catches a glimpse of red and blue out of the corner of his optic. But even that glimpse is enough to make him smile, recognizing who it is in a second. )

You're back earlier than expected, Optimus.

[luckyfaceplate]

[And right he was. After the entire ordeal of trying to convince Prowl that Shockwave wasn't planning any sort of resistant act against them, and quelling the other Autobot's arguments, his mind often strayed to the scientist left on the Ark. If he was adjusting well to their entourage.

It didn't deviate him from his duty completely, but enough that he decided a little checkup was needed. It was done without Prowl's knowledge and giving Kup a quick head's up, which was probably for the best. The music caught his attention first as he strides in, ear pieces giving little twitches to adjust his audials to it. Much like a dog hearing a noise for the first time, it felt like ages since music had been something that accompanied work. Accompanied everything. Then again, when your world is pretty much primordial, music seems so advanced.

Even for their race.

But when Shockwave takes notice of him, it takes him a moment to respond.]

You can say it's a personal check up. I wanted to make sure things on the Ark were going smoother than they are down below.

[Don't even get him started.]

How are you adjusting here?

[tomemyoutliers]

Jetfire has allowed me unsupervised access to the ship, which may be a sign of trust or a desire not to be close to me - I've yet to decide which it is. Still, I've kept myself busy.

( A gesture to the source of the music as he stands, attempting to rub some of the oil smudges on his hands away. Perhaps it had not been wise to go back to a white paint job so soon after events, but Shockwave had found the symbolism too overpowering to eschew the color altogether. So it was white with highlights of orange and a deep blue for the moment, until something else struck his fancy.

But no purple. )

I take it things are more difficult than you'd thought they would be?

( Down on Earth, that is. Come and tell him about your day, Optimus. )

[luckyfaceplate]

Let's go with the former. Jetfire's often mild mannered--he probablly trusts your skill, if anything.

[Because he doesn't want to think that his crew is immensely against Shockwave being here. Not that it quells his doubts by denying it, but like he said--everyone deserves a second chance.

Absently, he walks over, taking a bit of cloth in one hand and one of Shockwave's digits in the other, gently cleaning. His eyes don't deviate from the task, as if oil required his full concentration.]

About as well as you might imagine, given Prowl. I trust him, but sometimes his methods and my own clash.

[tomemyoutliers]

I'd like to think so. It may seem distasteful to say that they've only increased in the past four million years, but it is what it is.

( He's still hashing out the ethical line of what knowledge he feels he has a right to use and which he will forever lock away and never touch. It's a delicate process and one that really only applies to him.

Taken aback at the contact - however welcome - for a second, Shockwave relaxes almost instantaneously. Personal space has never been something he's concerned himself with, and even less when it comes to Optimus. So instead he just gives a pleased hum and lets the other do what he will. )

Which is why you named him your second, correct? Good at what he does, but always ready to see things in a way that you do not.

[luckyfaceplate]

You're using them to help people now, Shockwave. There's a difference in purpose.

[It's been hard on the scientist, for sure. But Optimus was going to be behind him every step in figuring out what that line was. To guide him and protect like he should have four million years ago.

His attention keeps focused on the hands, though, making sure to get every bit of oil off. Hands being surprisingly gentle at it, too.]

That's right. If you choose a second in command who thinks exactly the same way, you are not going to do yourself any favours. I trust him to be my check and balance. And I can only hope he expects the same from me.

[He'd better.]

[tomemyoutliers]

I only hope it is enough to atone for everything else I've done.

( He flexes one clean hand and then the other as Optimus finishes, giving him a small grin. Who would have known that Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots and famed for jumping off things and punching them could be so gentle? It makes Shockwave smile down at their hands, wrapping one around one of Optimus'. )

Perhaps. ( A pause, and he looks into his optics, expression serious. ) I'm concerned. Gestalt technology -- Jhiaxus made the first combiner, and I nearly completed the first successful one before I was entombed. But he was never properly formatted for the job, Optimus. If you could convince him to let me look at him--

( Shockwave sighs, because he knows Prowl would never agree to such a thing. Instead he reaches with a free hand to turn up the music. )

But I think we've both earned a break.

[luckyfaceplate]

Your effort to help us is all I can expect for now.

[Seeing Shockwave admire his hand gives him a small bit of pride--he never provided this personal of care towards someone. But Shockwave was special to him, in more ways than one.

But when Shockwave takes his hands with his own, his slightly thicker fingers wrapping around in reciprocation. It seemed like such an involuntary action, too. Like he'd been doing it for years.

At the tone change, though, he losers his optics. It'd been something that'd been on his mind as well. Prowl had been forced into the combiner form, a rushed, hodgepodge job just to make him barely compatible. He'd tried to bring it up to him on the way over, but the timing always seemed off.]

I can barely convince Prowl to listen to myself. I trust you, but he's...stubborn. [Maybe that's an understatement.] I could look into...alternative methods. Maybe Jetfire can look at him for you.

[His sigh speaks for them both, though, too preoccupied in his thoughts to hear the music get louder.]

[luckyfaceplate]

[What an interesting turn of events this had become. What had started off as an act of anger and passion (mostly from his dead partners) had quickly turned into his inevitable execution, only to THEN become saved by someone. Someone he'd barely met. He'd been given a time and place--Memorial Park by the bench to wait. And from then on, he'd met not only his savior, but a powerful ally.

One who believed something in him.

Roller of course, objected to the meetings. Saying that the Senator was just as shady as the others, if not more suspicious for being different.

But maybe different was what Orion needed in a time like this, when his views were so heavily changed by one person. By now, he welcomed the company. Shockwave was a very intelligent woman. Charming, beautiful, smart, compassionate. It was almost too good to be true, that she existed.

His blue eyes flick up when he sees her approach, a smile spreading across his lips.]

You're late.

[tomemyoutliers]

( Orion was, in many respects, the answer to Shockwave's prayers. There's promise in him, promise and something more that she deeply, deeply suspects. It would take digging, yes, but if there's one thing Shockwave knows how to do, it's to plan and wait.

Politician. Among other things, but Shockwave hasn't lasted in the game as long as she has at her age without learning how to play. But she waves at Orion, dressed warmly, with an accompanying red wool coat. Not as bright as her normal colors, but the coat made up for it as far as Shockwave was concerned.

She slides into the bench next to him, smile tugging at her lips. )

I really am sorry - I got held up in a meeting with Proteus. You would not believe ( And here her smile falls, sliding into a scowl smoothly. ) how vile he can be.

[luckyfaceplate]

[When his eyes flick up, the bright blue practically glowing against the cold, he can't help but hold back a chuckle as he sees her. Subtelty was obviously not in her vocabulary.

Something he doesn't entirely mind.

His arms raise from his knees, hands taking place there instead as he looks at her, eyes focused on the red coat. ]

I feel underdressed.

[It's a joke, mostly. How he arrived at that level with a Senator is beyond him, but...well, when breaking into a meeting is what gets someone interested in you, then caution's really thrown to the wind.

Although, his face drops at that, arms now folding.]

I've got a pretty good idea. He certainly wasted no time signing that execution paper for me.


Didn't even have my name written on it.

[tomemyoutliers]

( Honestly, she's surprised no one else has even considered questioning Orion's background with those eyes - they're arresting and startling and, most of all, belonging to the Primes. A few tests, a few well-placed questions and Shockwave fully expected to have results - positive ones. Funny, the rumored third son of Nominus had been hidden under their eyes the entire time and no one had suspected. Certainly not Sentinel and Zeta. )

Nonsense, you look fine. A bit drab, certainly, but I'm beginning to suspect that's just your way.

( Which she's perfectly okay with. )

Having your name on it would mean that he'd have to care who you were. And with Sentinel enforcing his demands like the incredibly ambitious son of Nominus that he is, he doesn't have to pretend. ( Overly ambitious indeed. Shockwave has suspicions on that front as well, but it too will take time. ) Still-- I've managed to save you, and that's the important part. It'd be a shame to see you go to waste, Orion.

[luckyfaceplate]

[Most would have called it a trick of the light, or off by merely a shade. After all, there was only a rumor about a third son of Nominus, and anyone with a fraction close to 'Matrix Blue' as they called it, would try their hand at claiming that. Although, that didn't stop Shockwave from theorizing. Orion himself? He didn't believe it. For some more obvious reasons than others.

But he can't help but crack a smile.]

So I'm drab, now. At least I know the meaning of the word 'subtle'.

[Because fancy dress in the most populated park the city had for a secret meeting...not exactly what he expected in a rendezvous.]

I hope there were no regrets on that.

[Sacrificing a lot of the favors Shockwave had built up over the years over his impulse reaction carried a bit of guilt with it.]

[tomemyoutliers]

Subtle ( Shockwave says, waving a hand in dismissal. ) is for people who'd rather go unnoticed. Me? I want to be known for two things - my beauty and my brains. I'm not going to settle for one of the skirt suit ensembles you see everyone else in the senate wearing.

( Her nose crinkles in distaste at the thought. Orion how could you suggest something as horrific as that? But his next comment brings her attention fully back to the matter of the head, and she shakes her head emphatically - currently blonde hair cascading down her shoulders when she does. )

None. You were worth it, are worth it.

( Her arm slides through his - fingers curling into the fabric of his coat while Shockwave beams at him. No, she didn't regret saving his life in the slightest. Not with the things she had planned for him. )

[luckyfaceplate]

[And that was something he could appreciate in the Senator. Someone who wasn't afraid to show off, to be herself. Confidence like that was hard to stay away from. It was such a refreshing trait, especially in the upper class.

Enough to be amused at her reaction. Putting a hand to his chin.

And then feeling that arm loop with his. He looks down at it a moment, seeing just how...nicely it fit there. How comfortable it felt.

It's a thought quickly shaken from his head.]

I'm honoured, truly.


Well, shall we at least walk?

[tomemyoutliers]

Lead the way, Orion.

( A sweeping gesture with her free hand for him to take the initiative. She was content to let him take her where he wanted - it wasn't as if she didn't trust him. Another grin, and an encouraging tug on that arm. )