Why should there be anything else? You excel in all the rest.
( Flattery? Absolutely. But Shockwave has gone so long without being able to do so that even if it seems excessive, it still feels right.
Humming slightly as Optimus' hands move, Shockwave repositions his own arms - wrapping them around Optimus' neck so that his fingers interlocked behind the other's helm. He can't help but smile at the signs that perhaps his Prime was easing into the idea of dancing - and perhaps it's a bit forward but when has Shockwave cared? There's a gentle pressure at the back of Optimus' head to encourage the other to dip his head more so that they can rest their forehelms together.
Shockwave is going to relish this closeness, the warmth spreading through him. All of it as proof he'd finally returned to being himself. )
[He knew that Shockwave idolized him, and as much as he loved hearing it, he knew when the bot was using his personal experience to judge. There was a lot of things he felt guilty for. Things he couldn't save.
But he feels those hands brush against his neck, eyes widening slightly as he feels them rest there, interlacing fingers at the back. The blue seems to glow a bit more in them as he feels something in his spark jump--as if all his senses intensified.
Being so close to Shockwave...he really felt alive. His head dips down, to press against the other's helm as he wanted, the hum of his engine slightly kicking to life. Like a purring kitten.]
Absolutely biased.
[His voice is nothing but a whisper now, hands pulling that waist closer to his. Their feet were still moving, but Optimus had the confidence now to not need to look at his feet. His eyes were needed elsewhere.]
( Shockwave knows that guilt, carries his own with him - of all the things he did, the things he did for the betterment of Cybertron and though the cost was worth the end result. It pulls at him and tugs at the back of his mind; he can't change the past but he can pretend his own twisted works from occurring again. And he knows that Optimus has the right to be guilty of what the war has done; Shockwave can't image having lived through what he has and not. But he also thinks Optimus deserves more credit than he gives himself.
Not everyone survives. And not everyone survives with those morals that made Shockwave pick him in the first place. So instead he laughs softly, his own voice as quiet as Optimus' as he lets himself be pulled forward. )
Only a little.
( Quite a lot. Fingers trace the bottom of Optimus' helm as he unlocks his hands, left hand coming up to cup the side of Optimus' face - thumb tracing the line where his facemask meets the blue edge of the helm proper. His other hand stays where it is, rubbing circles into the smooth lines of his neck. )
[Optimus had always been a leader, no matter what position he was in. From a cop to the leader of the Autobots, he'd been that Commander, no--that symbol of leadership. But here, it's amazing how he softens at that touch. It's harder to see with the facemask, but Optimus's eyes often showed enough to tell. His helm leans into that hand instinctively, all that stoicism melting out.
Because even leaders need someone to look to to draw their strength from.
A hand reaches up, though, to ghost over the other's, keeping it there as his eyes lock on to the ones opposite from him. As if mesmerized by the bot in front of him. As if just realizing now just what he'd gotten back.
( Pausing in the dance as well, Shockwave smiles at Optimus - bright and fond, even if his response is as soft as the rest of their conversation had become. )
Then I would aim to change your mind, of course.
( Smile turning sly, Shockwave tips Optimus' head down towards his slightly, enough so that he can kiss the faceplate tenderly. He doesn't let his lips linger long despite desperately wanting to - four million years was far too long already but he'd always been aware that his affections might not be fully welcomed. But here, Shockwave thinks, Optimus would feel no pressure to return them if he didn't want to, not if he took the initiative.
[Optimus gives Shockwave full freedom in positioning him. He trusted the other bot that much. But this, this definitely comes as a surprise. Feeling his head brought down, those eyes widen in surprise when Shockwave presses his lips to that faceplate. A part of him feels he should retract it--remove it. That would have made it easier on the other, wouldn't it?
But the passion of the kiss is too much to break away from. His body leans in, engine purring contently as he feels those fingers brush along the sides of his face.
It's a swift kiss, though, and soon his glossy eyes snap back (although much softer now than before) to him. He doesn't hesitate with what he does next, though, placing those hands at Shockwave's waist a bit more firmly, gently lifting him up to sit on his one of his arms. Head resting on his chest.]
Nothing could ever make me do that. Not even a war.
[Those blue eyes glisten a bit, arching that head up slightly.]
( The surprised, startled sound Shockwave makes at being hoisted into the air changes to one of amusement and happiness once Shockwave realizes what's going on. It's not a rejection at all - his spark swells, if not literally than surely metaphorically, sending tendrils of warmth through him. One hand grips Optimus' shoulder more tightly, not that he thought for a moment the other would drop him, but because it seems like the right thing to do in the moment. )
And you my Prime.
( Ducking down to press another, longer kiss against the faceplate is difficult, but one that Shockwave is determined to overcome. He hasn't gotten this far just to give up no, own optics softening as he looks down at Optimus.
No one would have ever accused Senator Shockwave of being capable of hiding his emotions; it holds true even now - the affection he holds for Optimus clear in every line on his face. )
[His eyes close again, momentarily, just hearing how that sounds. 'His Prime'. Optimus couldn't have picked those words any better himself. His spark had always belonged to Shockwave, whether he was aware of it or not. It felt right coming from him.
His head continues to be pressed to that chest, feeling Shockwave's spark gently hum underneath, craning his neck up to help the other kiss again, although it was heavily something one-sided. It's not like he has free hands to remove that faceplate, though.
The downside of having it--much of Optimus's face was hidden. But it's clear to see the affection in his eyes as he presses up, taking in all of this with, dare he say it...
Happiness. After years of loss and suffering, Optimus had finally felt happiness.]
Millions of years never changed that. I was always yours.
( Optimus might not have the hands free, but Shockwave does - and once he pulls away his hands are there on the edges of his faceplate, fingers sliding along the gaps to find the hidden clasps to remove it. It occurs to him that he's never seen Optimus without it after they'd repaired it on his orders so long ago; he almost feels as if he'd forgotten it in the four million years between then and now. )
Now who's the flatterer?
( But he can't say that it doesn't have any effect, truth or exaggeration. It makes the empty, hollow years seem less harsh - that there was someone who had cared for him even still. After everything. Shockwave's expression saddens at the thought, bright smile fading. )
How can you ever forgive me?
( Whispered, tone mournful. Shockwave isn't certain how he's managed to live with himself, knows that there really isn't another choice. But Optimus isn't him, Optimus doesn't have to live with the memories - he can wash his hands clean of this all, of him. )
[His helm doesn't move. If it were anyone else, he'd have pulled away. There was a reason he kept the facemask up, after all. The little 'improvement' as Wheeljack would have called it, was nothing more than a little hassle now. But here, he supposes, it served its purpose. When Shockwave removes the plating, his lips slowly curling into a smile.
Not much had changed since then, really. Weariness obviously was worn on his face. Wear and tear above, near the eyes, where the mouth was relatively untouched. There's a silent chuckle at the comment, eyes locked on Shockwave's, only daring to look away in order to press his lips into his hand.]
I have a feeling that is something you don't need to worry about.
( Shockwave can feel the tension leaving his frame at the words - and maybe he does not deserve such quick forgiveness with the weight of his sins pressing down on him, but this time he won't argue. Instead he focuses on the feeling of Optimus' lips on his hand, the press of the other against him, the fact that this is something real. Real and full of emotions that he'd never wanted to experience again when he couldn't. )
Thank you, Optimus.
( What else can he say? His fingers trace the lines of his now-exposed face, smoothing over the traces of age he can find with great care. But the corner of his mouth flicks up fondly, sadness bleeding from his expressions for the moment. Right now there's just this. )
It has long been my opinion that you have much too handsome a face to keep it covered all the time.
( It has long been Shockwave's opinion that Optimus himself never knew the pull he had - even now with the title of Prime, he wonders if he understands it. There's a certain sort of mech that inspires devotion beyond one's ability to bond with the Matrix or not; he'd considered Optimus one from the moment he burst into the Senate. )
[Optimus has always been a believer of second chances. He's been put to that test more times than he could ever say. Shockwave had always been someone special to him. The chance at redemption was a cautious one from many, but deep down...Optimus knew.
He knew that spark. And he knew that Shockwave could fight the shadowplay and become the Senator he fell in love with.
His eyes dim as a thumb brushes across his cheek, soaking it in.]
You know my opinion of faceplates. And what happened the last time I didn't have one.
[Funny, how easy it was to talk so casually like this.]
( His engine kicks up in a contented, rumbling hum. This he could get used to, this closeness and affection and love. It helps him banish the darkness to the corners of his mind where he won't dwell on it, won't think about anything except for the fact he's in the arms of his Prime. )
Is that what this is? ( Teasing, of course. But he takes advantage of their position and the fact that Optimus' head is tilted back to bring his own head down again - lips just barely brushing the other's when he speaks again. ) I'm honored.
( And then he kisses him properly, this time noticeably less sweet and chaste as the last two. He's not going to waste a second now that they have the chance - one hand come to cup the side of Optimus' helm while the other curves into his shoulder plating. )
[Optimus doesn't hold back. He's never had the chance to really share this moment with Shockwave. Before he knew it, the senator had been torn from him in both body and mind, both just a shadow of what beauty was once in him. Here, it'd been restored. And their feelings more than shared between them.
Maybe he didn't want to make the same mistake twice, waiting too long to really have something.
His lips press up into the other's as he receives that kiss, head tilting tenderly into that hand. It's not as elegant as Shockwave--his lips were rugged and not exactly giving a gentle peck, but he doubted he minded. The kiss was desperate, wanting. It was amazing how he seemed to soften at Shockwave's touch, treasuring every moment it rested there. He needed this.
They needed this.
His engine rumbles, like a deep purr beneath that plating as he shifts his hold, slowly lowering him. All while not daring to break that connection between them.]
( If Optimus won't break it, neither will Shockwave. Who isn't at all turned off by the roughness of the kiss; it's amazing what four million years of not having lips will do to someone - it's a bit clumsy as the memories of how to kiss are dragged to the forefront of his mind. His Orion, his Optimus, who he'd wanted to kiss out of pure joy the moment that he proved that not everyone had been lulled into complacency by the Senate. And then who he'd wanted to kiss later for being more than he could have ever hoped for in a candidate for the Primacy.
It is desperate. He'd be a fool if he tried to deny it, and once his feet touch the floor he's pulling Optimus to him roughly, taking a few steps back until his hips hit the table behind him. Not a problem, they'll manage, as he's still kissing Optimus and ending the kiss simply isn't an option.
Not after so long, and not that they're finally doing this. )
[The moment Shockwave has his ground again, he feels himself pulled against him, the kiss now desperate and needed more than before. It was almost hard to believe this was happening. After all these years of nothing but hurt, of losing everything, it's hard to see something this good without a drawback. His Shockwave in his arms, the way he always remembered him.
The way he wants to remember him now.
Thankfully, air isn't needed for Cybertronians to breathe, so he pushes those lips harder against the other, practically crushing them together. Arms fully wrap around the other, weaving in between Shockwave's own. Fingers grip onto that metal back, digging into the seams as he throws himself into that kiss. Every ounce of pain the war gave him, every hole that'd been blasted into him finally starts to heal. And this is when it dawns on him.
He can live again.
They both can. And there was no more hesitation--Optimus was going to love every minute of this as long as Shockwave let him.]
Shockwave.
[He lifts up, just a moment, although he doesn't stray farther than a few inches.]
I want you to know. ...No, I need you to know...
[He's trying to say it, those three words that make all the difference.]
( 'Clinging' might be an exaggeration as to what Shockwave's doing to Optimus, but it's not far off - fingers curved around any surface he can as if he's afraid that the Prime will disappear from his arms, even as he's holding and being held by the other. That somehow this - this thing is an emotional reaction to an illogical scenario, created by clipped together memories patched over others that his brain module has somehow pieced together to deal with the trauma inherent with the ores and his plan--
No. No. This is real. This has to be real. He can pick out each emotion in the swirl that surrounds him constantly, the fact that he can feel them has to be proof of that.
It's a good thing that Optimus doesn't try and pull back far, because Shockwave isn't about to let him go. Instead he rests his forehelm against Optimus', thumbs running small circles against red plating. )
You don't have to say anything, Optimus.
( There's no point in forcing the other to say anything, even as the hope of what it might be sends a warmth running through him. )
[Call it whatever you want--Optimus would have held on just as tight if Shockwave wasn't already. To him, the longer he holds the senator, the more it sinks in that this isn't a dream. He's had countless over the four million years about what he could have done differently. If he'd been less impulsive, if he'd not been so confident in his own abilities or Shockwave's.
For underestimating the Senate and the Institute.
Life was giving both of them a second chance--and you can't blame him for wanting to hold onto that as tightly as he could. Which is why he hesitates. He could just end it here; Shockwave knew what he'd meant, where no words were needed. But that didn't seem right. He'd practiced by himself, when he thought Shockwave was gone to him. How he would have said it, where, when...just to relive a memory.
He can't do all of that now, but this...this he could do.]
No, you need to hear it. I watched you function for millions of years, a shadow of what you once were. And you stared back with no feeling for anything we had. Our friendship, what that brought...
Our trust.
I won't lose this chance again, Shockwave.
[Because if by some chance this is a dream, he wants it to end right.]
My spark was once and from now on always will be yours.
( Oh. Shockwave can't help how his spark practically sings at the words, a face splitting smile spreading over his features as he takes one of Optimus' hands in his. He'll allow that much separation - threading his fingers in between Prime's and holding on. As if he's certain that if he lets go he'll lose this, lose Optimus.
No, he has this. They have this. And he'll be damned if he's going to let someone take it away from them. The Senate, anyone here and now who would separate them. Shockwave knows his own strength now, knows what he's capable of and if anyone would try he'll remind them why they--
No. A deep venting of air serves to calm him down and erase the dark expression that was threatening to overtake him. Focus. On Optimus, on his touch and his words. )
I love you, too. ( A kiss to the corner of his lips, just because he can. But then he pulls back so that he can look Optimus in the eyes. ) I can't- I can't say that I have always loved you, because there is four million years of emptiness between then and now but I love you.
( His other hand comes up to trace the point where Optimus' helm meets his face, head tilted fondly. )
I should have told you before I was lost to you completely.
[He watches Shockwave, that smile telling everything. The Senator wasn't one to let his emotions be hidden, and today was no different. But when he smiles like that, Optimus can't help but notice how much the other seems to glow. Something radiant about him...maybe he was the only one who noticed. His hands follow Shockwave's willingly, as giving and guided as his spark are to the other.
His head tilts, trying to read his expressions. It isn't until Shockwave says something that his blue eyes flicker, the 'matrix blue' shining bright. His lips search out for the other's, but they're pulled away too soon. He doesn't mind--he knows he's not going to be robbed of it any time soon. Not while he's here.]
My Shockwave. Has my Shockwave always loved me?
[Because to him, that's the only Shockwave he wants to remember. A hand breaks their hold, reaching up to cup the other's face in his palm, running a thumb along his cheek. This was his, now. After so long of an aching spark, realizing too late just what his feelings were....this was his.
That smile, those eyes...exactly how he remembered.
( If his smile wasn't wide enough at Optimus' confession, it grows wider at my Shockwave. And Shockwave was his, frame and spark and every other small component that makes up his whole. They all belong to Optimus Prime. The thought would scare a lesser Cybertronian maybe, someone who was less convinced or as willing to trust another. But there is no one else who Shockwave would trust more than he trusts Optimus. )
Yes. ( He can answer that with surety, leaning into the hand on his face. Optics dimming, Shockwave exvents the air he didn't know he was holding in - letting it rush from him in a sigh. ) From the moment you stormed the Senate-- I was yours then, though I only realized it later. I never wanted you to feel like you were obligated to return my feelings, Optimus. Not once.
( Which is why he didn't tell him. Because he would have never been able to live with himself if that were true. )
[The answer alone softens his eyes, as if the weight of four million years is finally lifted. This Cybertronian in front of him was his. He had something after the war. The war that took everything close to him...all the mistakes he made...
He was able to save this.
His arm wraps around the other's waist, still keeping the opposite holding his face, although it moves to tilt his chin up. His spark is practically flaring, the warmth emanating beneath that armor.
Happy. That was what he was feeling.
Happy.
And the glow that had been lost to years of war now finally starts to show in his eyes, a smirk forming on those lips. The rare smirk of Optimus Prime.]
Not even you could force me to do something I don't want to. I am the one who raided the Senate despite any and all injuries.
( Happiness seems like such a heavy word after millions of years without any emotions but Shockwave finds it fitting. There's a thousand other synonyms that come to mind and yet-- happiness. Yes, that's what it is and he can feel it run through his lines that he has this.
The Senate took who he was, the war allowed him to explore the darkness, and yet there is this. A light, and one Shockwave plans on clinging to. )
It's not the same thing, Optimus. ( A fond shake of his head, and his thumb runs over the other's cheek softly, as if he can't quite believe this. That he's here, in Optimus' arms, whole and rebuilt. Who is currently smirking at him.
He should do it more often - it suits his face. The smirks and the smiles that no one sees because of the faceplate, that no one sees because it's not his way. But Shockwave has, and he'll take that knowledge to the Afterspark, should it exist. ) You may not have realized it at the time but I feared-- I suppose it doesn't matter now.
[It's something Optimus never thought he'd feel again. At least not at this magnitude. When Shockwave gave himself up, his spark sank, and despite waiting for so long...all he got in return was a blank stare. A casual look as if he'd meant nothing.
Four million years seemed so much longer...
He won't lose him again. This second chance is what he has to cling to. And everyone deserves a second chance.
This is his.]
...You and the little details.
[He presses forward, hands holding onto the other's arms as he tilts his head, clinking it gently against the helm. The very thought of Shockwave's position having an influence on his decision...No, it was Shockwave's personality that drew the senator to him. And it always would have been. If there was anything Optimus cared little for, it was the restraints of social class.]
It doesn't. Except...I don't want the same pressure to come to you.
[The last thing he wants is Shockwave to be pressured into something because of his Prime status. Although, he doubts that's an issue.]
I somehow don't think I have to worry. My Shockwave.
Scientist. The little details are just as important as the whole picture - overlook one and the whole thing comes undone.
( Shockwave vents out slowly, letting a smile creep over his face again - honest and true. There might be no cure for the darkness in the back of his optics but Optimus is as close as Shockwave thinks anyone will ever come. No one has ever been quite like Optimus, and no other mech will compare. His brightest hope, his Prime, his Orion Pax. )
Always.
( Which is all he wants to say before he's kissing Optimus again. The novelty of it, the feeling of those lips against his-- Shockwave is never going to get over it so long as he still functions. The fact he's able to at all - past the Senate's meddling, past the war - he's really himself, mind and body, and he can do this. They can do this.
This time his kiss is still desperate, still demanding, but there's a sureness behind his movements that wasn't there before. A rightness to the way one arms slips around his neck to pull Optimus close and the way his other hand traces over the creases in his chest plating. )
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rodion2014-06-22 10:31 pm
no subject
( Flattery? Absolutely. But Shockwave has gone so long without being able to do so that even if it seems excessive, it still feels right.
Humming slightly as Optimus' hands move, Shockwave repositions his own arms - wrapping them around Optimus' neck so that his fingers interlocked behind the other's helm. He can't help but smile at the signs that perhaps his Prime was easing into the idea of dancing - and perhaps it's a bit forward but when has Shockwave cared? There's a gentle pressure at the back of Optimus' head to encourage the other to dip his head more so that they can rest their forehelms together.
Shockwave is going to relish this closeness, the warmth spreading through him. All of it as proof he'd finally returned to being himself. )
no subject
[He knew that Shockwave idolized him, and as much as he loved hearing it, he knew when the bot was using his personal experience to judge. There was a lot of things he felt guilty for. Things he couldn't save.
But he feels those hands brush against his neck, eyes widening slightly as he feels them rest there, interlacing fingers at the back. The blue seems to glow a bit more in them as he feels something in his spark jump--as if all his senses intensified.
Being so close to Shockwave...he really felt alive. His head dips down, to press against the other's helm as he wanted, the hum of his engine slightly kicking to life. Like a purring kitten.]
Absolutely biased.
[His voice is nothing but a whisper now, hands pulling that waist closer to his. Their feet were still moving, but Optimus had the confidence now to not need to look at his feet. His eyes were needed elsewhere.]
no subject
Not everyone survives. And not everyone survives with those morals that made Shockwave pick him in the first place. So instead he laughs softly, his own voice as quiet as Optimus' as he lets himself be pulled forward. )
Only a little.
( Quite a lot. Fingers trace the bottom of Optimus' helm as he unlocks his hands, left hand coming up to cup the side of Optimus' face - thumb tracing the line where his facemask meets the blue edge of the helm proper. His other hand stays where it is, rubbing circles into the smooth lines of his neck. )
Do try not to hold it against me, Optimus.
no subject
Because even leaders need someone to look to to draw their strength from.
A hand reaches up, though, to ghost over the other's, keeping it there as his eyes lock on to the ones opposite from him. As if mesmerized by the bot in front of him. As if just realizing now just what he'd gotten back.
His feet falter, becoming still.]
And if I did?
no subject
Then I would aim to change your mind, of course.
( Smile turning sly, Shockwave tips Optimus' head down towards his slightly, enough so that he can kiss the faceplate tenderly. He doesn't let his lips linger long despite desperately wanting to - four million years was far too long already but he'd always been aware that his affections might not be fully welcomed. But here, Shockwave thinks, Optimus would feel no pressure to return them if he didn't want to, not if he took the initiative.
So he takes the risk, the given opportunity. )
I wouldn't want you to think any less of me.
no subject
But the passion of the kiss is too much to break away from. His body leans in, engine purring contently as he feels those fingers brush along the sides of his face.
It's a swift kiss, though, and soon his glossy eyes snap back (although much softer now than before) to him. He doesn't hesitate with what he does next, though, placing those hands at Shockwave's waist a bit more firmly, gently lifting him up to sit on his one of his arms. Head resting on his chest.]
Nothing could ever make me do that. Not even a war.
[Those blue eyes glisten a bit, arching that head up slightly.]
You are my Shockwave, after all.
no subject
And you my Prime.
( Ducking down to press another, longer kiss against the faceplate is difficult, but one that Shockwave is determined to overcome. He hasn't gotten this far just to give up no, own optics softening as he looks down at Optimus.
No one would have ever accused Senator Shockwave of being capable of hiding his emotions; it holds true even now - the affection he holds for Optimus clear in every line on his face. )
no subject
His head continues to be pressed to that chest, feeling Shockwave's spark gently hum underneath, craning his neck up to help the other kiss again, although it was heavily something one-sided. It's not like he has free hands to remove that faceplate, though.
The downside of having it--much of Optimus's face was hidden. But it's clear to see the affection in his eyes as he presses up, taking in all of this with, dare he say it...
Happiness. After years of loss and suffering, Optimus had finally felt happiness.]
Millions of years never changed that. I was always yours.
no subject
Now who's the flatterer?
( But he can't say that it doesn't have any effect, truth or exaggeration. It makes the empty, hollow years seem less harsh - that there was someone who had cared for him even still. After everything. Shockwave's expression saddens at the thought, bright smile fading. )
How can you ever forgive me?
( Whispered, tone mournful. Shockwave isn't certain how he's managed to live with himself, knows that there really isn't another choice. But Optimus isn't him, Optimus doesn't have to live with the memories - he can wash his hands clean of this all, of him. )
no subject
Not much had changed since then, really. Weariness obviously was worn on his face. Wear and tear above, near the eyes, where the mouth was relatively untouched. There's a silent chuckle at the comment, eyes locked on Shockwave's, only daring to look away in order to press his lips into his hand.]
I have a feeling that is something you don't need to worry about.
[I already have.]
no subject
Thank you, Optimus.
( What else can he say? His fingers trace the lines of his now-exposed face, smoothing over the traces of age he can find with great care. But the corner of his mouth flicks up fondly, sadness bleeding from his expressions for the moment. Right now there's just this. )
It has long been my opinion that you have much too handsome a face to keep it covered all the time.
( It has long been Shockwave's opinion that Optimus himself never knew the pull he had - even now with the title of Prime, he wonders if he understands it. There's a certain sort of mech that inspires devotion beyond one's ability to bond with the Matrix or not; he'd considered Optimus one from the moment he burst into the Senate. )
no subject
He knew that spark. And he knew that Shockwave could fight the shadowplay and become the Senator he fell in love with.
His eyes dim as a thumb brushes across his cheek, soaking it in.]
You know my opinion of faceplates. And what happened the last time I didn't have one.
[Funny, how easy it was to talk so casually like this.]
I save it for important occasions.
no subject
Is that what this is? ( Teasing, of course. But he takes advantage of their position and the fact that Optimus' head is tilted back to bring his own head down again - lips just barely brushing the other's when he speaks again. ) I'm honored.
( And then he kisses him properly, this time noticeably less sweet and chaste as the last two. He's not going to waste a second now that they have the chance - one hand come to cup the side of Optimus' helm while the other curves into his shoulder plating. )
no subject
Maybe he didn't want to make the same mistake twice, waiting too long to really have something.
His lips press up into the other's as he receives that kiss, head tilting tenderly into that hand. It's not as elegant as Shockwave--his lips were rugged and not exactly giving a gentle peck, but he doubted he minded. The kiss was desperate, wanting. It was amazing how he seemed to soften at Shockwave's touch, treasuring every moment it rested there. He needed this.
They needed this.
His engine rumbles, like a deep purr beneath that plating as he shifts his hold, slowly lowering him. All while not daring to break that connection between them.]
no subject
It is desperate. He'd be a fool if he tried to deny it, and once his feet touch the floor he's pulling Optimus to him roughly, taking a few steps back until his hips hit the table behind him. Not a problem, they'll manage, as he's still kissing Optimus and ending the kiss simply isn't an option.
Not after so long, and not that they're finally doing this. )
no subject
The way he wants to remember him now.
Thankfully, air isn't needed for Cybertronians to breathe, so he pushes those lips harder against the other, practically crushing them together. Arms fully wrap around the other, weaving in between Shockwave's own. Fingers grip onto that metal back, digging into the seams as he throws himself into that kiss. Every ounce of pain the war gave him, every hole that'd been blasted into him finally starts to heal. And this is when it dawns on him.
He can live again.
They both can. And there was no more hesitation--Optimus was going to love every minute of this as long as Shockwave let him.]
Shockwave.
[He lifts up, just a moment, although he doesn't stray farther than a few inches.]
I want you to know. ...No, I need you to know...
[He's trying to say it, those three words that make all the difference.]
I...
[God, why is he choking on this.]
no subject
No. No. This is real. This has to be real. He can pick out each emotion in the swirl that surrounds him constantly, the fact that he can feel them has to be proof of that.
It's a good thing that Optimus doesn't try and pull back far, because Shockwave isn't about to let him go. Instead he rests his forehelm against Optimus', thumbs running small circles against red plating. )
You don't have to say anything, Optimus.
( There's no point in forcing the other to say anything, even as the hope of what it might be sends a warmth running through him. )
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For underestimating the Senate and the Institute.
Life was giving both of them a second chance--and you can't blame him for wanting to hold onto that as tightly as he could. Which is why he hesitates. He could just end it here; Shockwave knew what he'd meant, where no words were needed. But that didn't seem right. He'd practiced by himself, when he thought Shockwave was gone to him. How he would have said it, where, when...just to relive a memory.
He can't do all of that now, but this...this he could do.]
No, you need to hear it. I watched you function for millions of years, a shadow of what you once were. And you stared back with no feeling for anything we had. Our friendship, what that brought...
Our trust.
I won't lose this chance again, Shockwave.
[Because if by some chance this is a dream, he wants it to end right.]
My spark was once and from now on always will be yours.
[Just three words, Prime. You've got this.]
I love you.
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No, he has this. They have this. And he'll be damned if he's going to let someone take it away from them. The Senate, anyone here and now who would separate them. Shockwave knows his own strength now, knows what he's capable of and if anyone would try he'll remind them why they--
No. A deep venting of air serves to calm him down and erase the dark expression that was threatening to overtake him. Focus. On Optimus, on his touch and his words. )
I love you, too. ( A kiss to the corner of his lips, just because he can. But then he pulls back so that he can look Optimus in the eyes. ) I can't- I can't say that I have always loved you, because there is four million years of emptiness between then and now but I love you.
( His other hand comes up to trace the point where Optimus' helm meets his face, head tilted fondly. )
I should have told you before I was lost to you completely.
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His head tilts, trying to read his expressions. It isn't until Shockwave says something that his blue eyes flicker, the 'matrix blue' shining bright. His lips search out for the other's, but they're pulled away too soon. He doesn't mind--he knows he's not going to be robbed of it any time soon. Not while he's here.]
My Shockwave. Has my Shockwave always loved me?
[Because to him, that's the only Shockwave he wants to remember. A hand breaks their hold, reaching up to cup the other's face in his palm, running a thumb along his cheek. This was his, now. After so long of an aching spark, realizing too late just what his feelings were....this was his.
That smile, those eyes...exactly how he remembered.
Shockwave was--IS... beautiful.]
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Yes. ( He can answer that with surety, leaning into the hand on his face. Optics dimming, Shockwave exvents the air he didn't know he was holding in - letting it rush from him in a sigh. ) From the moment you stormed the Senate-- I was yours then, though I only realized it later. I never wanted you to feel like you were obligated to return my feelings, Optimus. Not once.
( Which is why he didn't tell him. Because he would have never been able to live with himself if that were true. )
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He was able to save this.
His arm wraps around the other's waist, still keeping the opposite holding his face, although it moves to tilt his chin up. His spark is practically flaring, the warmth emanating beneath that armor.
Happy. That was what he was feeling.
Happy.
And the glow that had been lost to years of war now finally starts to show in his eyes, a smirk forming on those lips. The rare smirk of Optimus Prime.]
Not even you could force me to do something I don't want to. I am the one who raided the Senate despite any and all injuries.
[Orion, like Optimus, was stubborn.]
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The Senate took who he was, the war allowed him to explore the darkness, and yet there is this. A light, and one Shockwave plans on clinging to. )
It's not the same thing, Optimus. ( A fond shake of his head, and his thumb runs over the other's cheek softly, as if he can't quite believe this. That he's here, in Optimus' arms, whole and rebuilt. Who is currently smirking at him.
He should do it more often - it suits his face. The smirks and the smiles that no one sees because of the faceplate, that no one sees because it's not his way. But Shockwave has, and he'll take that knowledge to the Afterspark, should it exist. ) You may not have realized it at the time but I feared-- I suppose it doesn't matter now.
( On account of the kissing and confessing. )
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Four million years seemed so much longer...
He won't lose him again. This second chance is what he has to cling to. And everyone deserves a second chance.
This is his.]
...You and the little details.
[He presses forward, hands holding onto the other's arms as he tilts his head, clinking it gently against the helm. The very thought of Shockwave's position having an influence on his decision...No, it was Shockwave's personality that drew the senator to him. And it always would have been. If there was anything Optimus cared little for, it was the restraints of social class.]
It doesn't. Except...I don't want the same pressure to come to you.
[The last thing he wants is Shockwave to be pressured into something because of his Prime status. Although, he doubts that's an issue.]
I somehow don't think I have to worry. My Shockwave.
deal with the lack of exciting icons okok
( Shockwave vents out slowly, letting a smile creep over his face again - honest and true. There might be no cure for the darkness in the back of his optics but Optimus is as close as Shockwave thinks anyone will ever come. No one has ever been quite like Optimus, and no other mech will compare. His brightest hope, his Prime, his Orion Pax. )
Always.
( Which is all he wants to say before he's kissing Optimus again. The novelty of it, the feeling of those lips against his-- Shockwave is never going to get over it so long as he still functions. The fact he's able to at all - past the Senate's meddling, past the war - he's really himself, mind and body, and he can do this. They can do this.
This time his kiss is still desperate, still demanding, but there's a sureness behind his movements that wasn't there before. A rightness to the way one arms slips around his neck to pull Optimus close and the way his other hand traces over the creases in his chest plating. )
no you're fired
dats rude AFTER ALL I DO FOR YOU
8D
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